With a little help from my Friends
by Pari
Summary: My first The Rookie/ BoLan fic. Sometimes grief requires help from friends. Set after season 1, episode 16, 'Greenlight'.


"I really appreciate the ride, although I was perfectly capable of driving myself," He spoke out as he paused in his task and turned to face his companion. "But you truly did not have to walk me to my front door."

"Well, maybe I wanted to make sure you go in safely, or maybe I just have to use the bathroom. Unless you just want me to go in the bushes?" Those words brought the first genuine smile to his face in the past several days.

"No, there are 4 bathrooms inside that you can use," He replied as he turned back to his task and unlocked the door, opened it, and allowed his guest to cross the threshold first.

"These are some nice digs you have here Officer Nolan, I can see why there has been talk around the station."

"John, and yeah I've heard the talk and I assure you it's not true. I pay rent here," He defended and received a suspicious glance from his guest. "Not as much as I'm sure the place is worth, the perks of being friends with a rich guy, but I am paying what I can afford."

"Okay, Nolan, I wasn't accusing you of anything."

"It's John," He repeated. "We're off duty so we don't have to be so formal," John Nolan stated as he turned and begin to make his way to the huge gourmet kitchen that took up an entire wall in the open concept living area.

"I'd feel more comfortable if we remained formal."

"Well, then you should probably leave now, Talia," He replied intentionally using her first name. "But if you want to use the bathroom first, there's one right down that hall second door on the right."

"I don't really need to use the bathroom," TO Talia Bishop said as she folded her arms across her chest and took steps towards the kitchen.

"Of course, you don't," Nolan said around a heavy sigh as he reached into a bottom cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He then opened one of the top cabinets and grabbed two glasses. "Ice?" He asked and she simply shook her head no. "Woman after my own heart," He responded and filled the glasses with a taste of the whiskey. He then moved to where she stood near the large island that filled most of the space. He handed her the glass and she readily took a sip, while he gulped all his. When she saw him about the pour himself another glass she spoke out.

"You know, that is something you really don't want to start doing," Bishop said and Nolan paused in his action as he regarded her curiously. "Not a good idea to come home and drink after a bad day at work, because I can tell you there are going to be more bad days than good ones. That drink, every once in a while, will quickly turn into a serious problem. John, I don't want to see you become that kind of cop statistic, I want you to be one of the exceptions," He let her words resonate in him. It truly struck a chord, and he settled the glass and whiskey bottle on the counter top.

"Okay, so you tell me what I can do to make this …" He paused again as lifted his right hand, fisted it, and smacked it against his gut. "This feeling go away?"

"Nothing, it won't ever 'go away', but you will learn to live with it," Bishop stated and the hopeful look in Nolan's eyes faded. "You witnessed the murder of our Captain, and I won't even pretend to understand what that was like for you-"

"It was hell, it is hell," He cut her off. "I couldn't do anything to help her, to save her."

"Her carotid artery was hit, there was absolutely nothing you could have done to save her."

"Yeah, I know that and I've been telling myself that since it happened but it doesn't help."

"I know, but these things happen," Bishop said and Nolan cast her a hard glare at what he took as very callous words. "And I don't mean any disrespect to what happened to Captain Andersen, that woman was my mentor and the main reason I am still on the job. What I mean is in our line of work we are going to lose fellow officers. I could even fall tomorrow in the line of duty."

"Please don't say that, because I don't think I could survive losing you too so soon after the Captain," Nolan replied as he closed his eyes and shook his head slightly to remove the thought of it from his head.

"Then you had better hand in your letter of resignation first thing in the morning, John, because the second we put on the uniform in the morning there is a chance that we won't be removing it that night. What we do is not like what you see on TV or in the movies."

"I know that," He said offensively.

"Are you sure? I get that Captain Andersen seemed untouchable because she was at a rank where she didn't have to be out there on the …" It was at that moment that realization hit Bishop. "You think it's your fault because she was babysitting you, don't you?"

"Well, she was. That was the only reason she was out there, trying to watch my back, and look what it got her." Bishop set her glass of whiskey on the countertop and moved to stand right in front of Nolan. She reached out and placed a firm hand on his arm.

"John, what happened is not your fault," She assured. "Captain was doing her job, part of which was making sure that one of her endangered cops stayed safe, and she thought the best way to do that was to be more hands on. She hadn't put on the uniform in awhile and she had done more pointing a pen than a gun, but she was on the job for 20 plus years, she knew what she was doing. Some dirty bastard got off a lucky one in a million shot and she died. But she died doing the job she loved and she knew the risks. You should respect her and the work that she did, not pitying her or dwelling on the way that she died. She died a fucking hero as far as I'm concerned."

"Yeah, yeah she did," Nolan agreed as he nodded his head and sniffed back the tears that wanted out badly.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there with you, John, and that you had to go through that alone."

"I'm not," He quickly replied. "And that's messing with me too."

"What?" Bishop asked as she bunched up her brows in confusion.

"The thought 'at least it wasn't Bishop'. How fucked up is that?" He tossed out a humorless laugh. "She's lying in my arms dying and I actually thought to myself, 'at least it wasn't Bishop'. A part of me was glad, is glad, that it was her instead of you," He confessed and actually whispered the last bit as if he were afraid someone else would overhear what he felt was a betrayal.

"I had that thought too, John," Bishop countered and his guilt filled eyes shifted to shock. "When I heard the call about an officer down at your location, I said a little prayer that it wasn't you. When I got there and saw that it wasn't you, I was relieved. And I don't feel guilty about it because I think it's completely normal. You and I work together day in and day out, we're partners out on those streets. We rely on each other, trust one another to have the other's back since our very lives depend on it. We work closely together and there's a bond between us that neither of us ever had with the captain."

"Thank you for saying that. I have been feeling like shit for being glad it was her instead of you, and please don't tell anybody that."

"I wouldn't, and you need to stop guilt tripping over it, all right?"

"Yeah."

"I mean it, it wasn't your fault and we caught the guy who was responsible. That has to be enough for you, that has to be your closure if you want to keep your head in the game and on the job. And I am going to need you to have your head on the job when we're out on those streets." 

"Always," Nolan said with conviction. "I'll have your back, Talia, I promise you that," Nolan proclaimed as he reached out his hand and brushed his knuckles across her cheek. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Bishop questioned and Nolan's eyes enlarged a bit as he snatched his hand back.

"Sorry, I thought we were having a moment there; you touched my arm and I-"

"Lovingly caressed my cheek," She cut him off.

"No, no, I was just trying to be reassuring, I wasn't hitting on you," He stated as she threw him what he perceived as an offended look, although she was internally enjoying seeing him squirm. "Not that I wouldn't hit on you, because I totally would if you were a normal woman. I … I mean, of course you're normal, and obviously, you're a woman. That body is definitely all woman," He added as he absentmindedly let his eyes openly roam over her frame, but then quickly averted them up to her eyes. "Not that I'm like checking out your body or anything, because I have more respect for you than that," He rambled on.

"So, you've never checked out my ass?" Bishop asking in disbelief.

"Okay, yes, I may have checked out your ass a few times, but never while out there, you know, doing the job, never," He said with conviction as he shook his head. Bishop couldn't hold in her laughter any longer as she threw her head back a bit and let it out. "And you are totally messing with me right now, aren't you?

"Yep," She replied around her giggles. "I just thought I needed to lighten the mood and get your mind out of that dark place it was in."

"Well, it worked, thank you," Nolan said around his own chuckles. "And know I mean no offense by looking at your ass."

"None taken, I mean, I do have a really nice ass," She continued to tease him as she grasped her glass from the counter and began to move to the living room area.

"Yes, you do," He agreed feeling more comfortable now that it was obvious, she was just teasing him.

"Hey, I've checked out your ass a time or two and it's very nice … for a white boy," She said jokingly.

"Why thank you, I work out, you know. Do a lot of squats," He replied and grabbed up his glass, the whiskey bottle, and followed her trek.

"And I don't mind you looking at my ass, just don't touch…" She began.

"I would never-" He interjected.

"…Without permission," She finished and he was pleasantly surprised by her words as a small smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Now, where are you hiding the gaming console? We're off tomorrow and I wouldn't mind spanking that nice ass of your in a good shooter game."

"No Fortnite!" They both proclaimed at the same time and then chuckled.

The two colleagues settled in playing games long past daybreak. Bishop quickly learned that in reality she was a better shot then Nolan, but in the virtual world he reigned supreme.


End file.
